Monday, April 28, 2014

Showing up for motherhood...

...or whatever your calling/occupation in life is

I think that one of the greatest lessons my mother ever taught me was to get up and get dressed.

Seriously though. It sounds super simple, but some days it just isn't.

I remember mornings where she would wake us up at 6am (this was part of the regular routine) and all I wanted to do was lay in bed. My head hurt. My throat hurt. My stomach hurt.

I would proceed to tell her how miserable I was and this was her response:

"If you get up, get dressed, and start moving around and you still don't feel well, you may stay home from school"

I would venture to say that 99% of the time I ended up going to school.

The thing is, I wasn't faking it. I absolutely did feel miserable when I woke up, but by some fancy Mom Magic I always felt better when I got up and got dressed.

Fast forward 20 years and now I'm a mom and guess what?

I still wake up feeling miserable some days and I don't want to get out of bed. And I certainly don't want to think about the pile of dishes sitting in the sink. Or the dirty laundry on the floor. Or the babies that want to suck the life out of me (ie breastfeed). I just want to stay in bed.

And while staying in bed isn't necessarily an option, not getting dressed absolutely is. Being a lazy bum falls in the category of "options" as well. This is where the Mom Magic comes in...

I have three babies. Two of which I breastfeed, at the same time. I stay at home during the day, but I work almost 30 hours every week during the evenings. I think I wake up feeling miserable more often than not. On those mornings I just picture my mom telling me to get up and get dressed and I make a deal with myself----

If I get up, get dressed, and get something to eat and I still feel miserable, I am allowed to get back in my pjs and lie on the couch and not do anything but feed the kids and change diapers.

I would venture to say that 99% of the time that I do that, I end up actually staying moving and getting things done.

Motherhood is hard. I could probably get by on doing the bare minimum, but that's not what I want for me and that's not what I want for my children. I want a life in a comfortable home. I want to spend time with friends and family. I want to go on adventures with my husband. I want my kids to know the joys of good books and great friends. I want my children to feel happy and fulfilled.

And that's not going to happen if I just stay in my pjs and sit on the couch all day. So I decide to show up for motherhood. I decide to get dressed, to tackle the laundry (I leave the dishes for my husband) and to love and nurture those babies.Yes, I have PJ days. Yes, I complain about it more often than I should. But I am so grateful for a mother who always decided to get up and get dressed, because therein she taught me the secret to success and happiness.

So whatever it is that you do---be it motherhood, fatherhood, a full time job/school, or a member of a sports team---make a deal with yourself to just get up and get dressed. Show up for your responsibilities and see what happens. If it doesn't work, I give you permission to go back to bed.

Isn't she the most beautiful mama you've ever seen?


  1. bring it motherhood! :-) nothing has been so challenging and rewarding

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  3. So true! dankje dat je dit hebt gedeeld. Wanneer alles is gedaan heb je veel meer tijd over met het gezin,maar zitten luieren in bed dan is de dag zo voorbij, en heb je helemaal niks nuttigs gedaan.