Dear Babies

Dear Babies,

I love you everyday, but there are some days when I love you so much it hurts. Every piece of me feels like it is swelling up with the need to love on you and hold you and not miss a single moment or a single breath.

Right now all three of you are sleeping. This is a miracle.

Everything about each one of you is a miracle. Every smile, every laugh, every cry, even your poopy explosion diapers---miracles.

Gideon, Heavenly Father watched over you and protected you and prompted friends and family to help your mama know when to go to the doctors so that you could be delivered safely without complications from Cholestasis (which we didn't know I had until it was almost too late).

Annelise and Olivia, every moment that you survived in my womb was a moment to be grateful. Six months ago I had no idea if you would both make it here to be with your family, but you fought hard and you played nice with each other and you made it!

I won't pretend that this hasn't been difficult. But I also won't allow you to ever think that you were a burden. You are the payoff. You three are the answers to almost every prayer uttered in the last two years.

I love seeing you interact with each other.

Gideon, you are the most amazing big brother. You have grown and matured in ways that I never thought possible for a 1yr old. Your love for your little sisters is astounding. You hold them, kiss them, rock them in their car seats, share your toys with them---you even help change their diapers. How is it possible that you are so sweet and so wise? One day you will have to teach me everything you know.

Annelise, you have wise eyes. You take in the world with wonder and with patience. You love to smile and laugh but only after you have assessed the situation. You are cautious and often quiet, but when you light up it fills my heart with so much warmth and happiness that I can't contain it. You are my morning bird. You awake with gentle coos and often just stare at me in the mornings; content to be alive and to lay snuggled in your blankets.

Olivia, you are bold. You know what you want and you will let me know it. You are quick to talk and squeal and giggle. You love to kick your little legs and flail your arms. You seem to always be telling the world "I'm ready, let me at 'em!" and I can't wait to see what that attitude yields. You are my night owl. You just want to hang out with Daddy and spend your time in his arms.

My babies, please know how much you are loved. Know everyday that you are not a "handful" but that you make my heart full.

Love always and forever,
Your Mama